Is It Really Possible to Forgive and Forget?

The answer to this question along with the steps on how to achieve this outcome is found in the book by Dadi Janki, “Wings of Soul”.

 

Yes, it is, but it needs to happen the other way around. First you have to forget. Then your forgiveness can be real.

You will never really be able to forgive an incident or situation, if your heart or head is still holding on to it.

You have to be able to let it go.

You have to really be able to forget the scene, to such an extent that it’s as if nothing even happened an you know nothing about it at all.

I Remembering

The way to achieve this level of “forgetting” however, is less a matter of forgetting and more a matter of remembering…

We need to be remembering something else entirely; namely, the significance of that incident in our life, now.

This is the effort to make when a scene you wish to forget comes in front of you. Say to it, again and again, “Okay, but what does this have to do with me, here and now?”

 

II Our Duty

In fact I don’t even like to use this word “forget.” The process of trying to forget something in itself will keep reminding you of what you want to forget.

Why should you want to do that to yourself?

There are so many things it is our duty to remember, like our own dignity and divinity, not to mention that of others. “Forgetting” is not the problem. “Forgetting” is not our duty.

Remembering is.

 

 How Do I Forgive Myself? 

Self-forgiveness takes place on two different levels. The first level is practical and straightforward.

The second requires a very subtle and secret kind of effort, which is worthwhile understanding, because the process is extraordinary and far more permanent.

I The Practical Effort

On the first level of effort, the first step is to realize that you have made a mistake. It is not a case- as it is in forgiving others- of simply forgetting the mistake! To think that you can simply forget your mistakes and everything will be okay is to be careless.

Instead, there needs to be realization about the seriousness of your mistake.

No matter how small other people may consider them to be, it is good to consider even your smallest mistakes to be big ones.

True dignity and reality of the self does not allow for anything less.

 

II SIGNS 

If you have honestly realized your mistake, but your mind continues to go over and over it, to no avail, consider this a sign that you are now in need of forgiving yourself.

Another sign is when, having realized the mistake, the soul is flooded with feelings of guilt accompanied by an unstoppable flow of unnecessary thoughts.

Why feel guilty?

Learning how to forgive yourself is a much better use of your time.

Finally, be careful about remaining too much  on your own.

This can emerge a lot of old, internal patterns and thoughts will again begin to circle uselessly over and over in your mind.

 

III SPIRITUAL AWARENESS

With these signs alerting you to the need of self -forgiveness, the next step is to understand what to do.

On the first, practical level of self-forgiveness, it is a question of using your spiritual training to discover new ways of looking at the situation.

Injecting your spirituality into a mistake creates freshness. You get a new hold on the present, which enables you to go of the past.

There is new enthusiasm for doing things the right way.

The thought is, “Okay, it’s over now. Let me move on.”

This produces hope for the soul and renewed feelings of interest for the task of self-transformation.

 

 

 

 

Categories Wings of Soul by Dadi Janki

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